The Guilt of Greatness

In my recent journey of self-rediscovery, I’ve realized that I used be ashamed and guilty of my own greatness.I felt like it was a curse that alienated me from all my friends, but I’ve realized now that the plague of normalcy which afflicted my friends is what caused this feeling of distance. I am a work-a-holic. Not in the negative sense, but I’m very passionate and if you’ll seen any of my post of my ear training results. I don’t find entertainment in TV or movies. I may watch YouTube for entertainment half of the time but the other half is on educational/self-help videos videos. If everything I owned could be summed up I only own computers, notebooks and text books. The newest game system I own is a finicky PlayStation 2 on a 10 inch analog TV. I used to feel ashamed of myself because with a lifestyle like this I slowly began to find I had less and less to talk about with friends. While they chatted about the latest Avengers movie I could only talk about the latest facts I had learned which became a short conversation fast especially when the homies tried to relax and “turn up”.It got so bad that it came to the point where the only way I could relate and interact with most of my friends was by smoking weed. Which eventually became an addiction, but I’ve recently overcome that. I felt alien and foreign with people I had known for years. It sucked, but looking back it wasn’t me who sucked, it was the crowd I was around. If you read yesterday’s post you know I hold my friends in high esteem because they are smart, but I have come to realize not as wise and mature as I had imagined. So, in conclusion I realize I need to search and find people with ideals and interests like me and not judge myself so harshly for not conforming.

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